I had ideas for umpteen blogs. Here is where they all somehow converge and I attempt to do something productive with my sprawling web presence.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Darth Vader wants to be Prime Minister, build a Death Star and save the Ukraine
Darth Alekseyevich Vader is running for the position of Prime Minister in the Ukraine, reported the Associated Press, Oct. 24. He “prowls the streets of Kiev atop his black campaign van wooing voters with the promise to turn Ukraine into a ‘galactic empire.’” He arrives along with some of his storm troopers in tow and his signature theme music from the films.
This is hardly a hoax, though it does seem extremely absurd. Vader says he’s serious about his campaign and so much so that he has undergone quite the transformation towards his causes. He has legally changed his name from Viktor Shevchenko to Darth Alekseyevich Vader and he campaigns in the black garb that is typical of the famous Star Wars villain. Further, he’s shirked his former life as an electrician to become a parliamentary candidate.
Goals if appointed include winning the “war against separatist rebels in the east,” providing free computer classes to everyone, reclaiming the Crimean Peninsula, and computerizing all government business. He told AP that, “When I get to parliament, I will expel all the deputies. They have proven their uselessness. Computers will work in their place and they will fulfil their functions without cease." In true warlord fashion, he has also vowed to take on Putin.
He has vowed to do all of this by constructing a veritable Death Star. “A military space station will be built that will protect the whole territory of Ukraine,” he said.
Polls do not reflect favorably for Vader or for anyone else on the Internet Party ticket which maybe is too bad. There seem to be a lot of valid reasons why the Ukraine should vote for the Sith Lord, reports Vocativ. The computerization of government would limit the corruption of government officials while enhancing transparency of the government overall. “Darth’s Internet Party of Ukraine is fighting for an ‘e-Government’” which will combine all parties involved in politics; the government, business, and the citizens of the Ukraine.
While it doesn’t seem that there is much chance of Vader actually becoming Prime Minister, every time he’s present, onlookers are enthusiastic and his words are much more meaningful than those that might be provided in a mere publicity stunt.
Many hope that a good deal of the Internet Party members will be voted into parliamentary seats, otherwise, though the Ukraine government is going through a major reformatting, Parliament, in a supposedly new format, will be filled with “old faces wearing new masks.”
Registered candidates on the Internet Party ticket include Stepan Chewbacca Mikhalovich, Padme N. Amidala and Master V. Yoda, reported Mashable. Like Vader, all of the other candidates have had their names legally changed and appear on the official list of candidates for Parliament. Their registration is bona fide.
This is not the first time Darth Vader has been a candidate for office. Newsweek reported that he has run other campaigns, (albeit unsuccessfully) as the Sith Lord. He has run for mayoral offices in Kiev and Odessa and even has run for presidency in 2014. At that time, he wouldn’t show his face and so officials disqualified him on the account that he was breaking the rules by not providing his ‘true identity.’