Just a beginning: Why It Is Important to Tell Our Stories

“The personal is political.” ~feminist rallying cry

I’m trying to write myself out of a pickle. For months, I have been circling around the idea of why it’s important for us, as women, to tell our stories but I haven’t written anything down on the page. I initially thought that in bona fide academic fashion I would include voices the likes of bell hooks, Audre Lorde, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Alice Walker and Rebecca Solnit and let them speak for me. I had written notes in the margins of their books and printed out articles, marked passages I wanted to quote, and others I wanted to paraphrase. I intended to expand upon those writings with little more than my personal agreements upon the text, and I thought that would be enough. However, to my dismay, I left every single one of those resources at home, a proper justice for someone who had put off writing her paper til less than 24 hours before her presentation was due.

So, there I was without a proper paper to present. My former professor, mentor and friend Sandra Maresh Doe then read to me a proposal letter she is writing to ask for support in her writing and research. In the proposal, she told her story about how chasing a male relative’s work for decades has led her to this point in time. She read about how publishers told her that this story about an artist named Ray Boynton was separate from her own, that the Boynton biography and her autobiography could not be mixed.

“But. . .this story is your story,” I said. I felt angry and was probably a little pushy, too. In her proposal, and in the text of the book she is writing, Doe talks about a life of her own very impressive accomplishments that, though she won’t admit it, often go overlooked. She talks about many of the deep personal connections she has made along her search. She speaks about motherhood, sisterhood, losing lovers, family members, and a breast to cancer.

I’ve heard pieces of this story multiple times over the years during various presentations on campus and off, but for some reason, it never hit me as much as it did today. “This is your story,” I said.

Doe admitted, passionately that she doesn’t want to continue with this project because why would she continue chasing a man who had burned through three wives and has remained a bit of a ghost, leaving her alone to complete his story for him, to fill in the blanks where he left off. She also admitted that she wanted desperately to finish the work: Can’t leave the work unfinished, after all.

“That is honest, what you’re telling me. The want to finish this work and your frustrations with it. It is not two stories you are writing, it is one; and it is yours. Further, those frustrations are definitely part of the story.”

We had breakfast and I still did not have a paper; I did not have a clue on where to start. I began thinking about other friends’ and loved ones stories I have heard over the years. I thought about some of my own. There were so many stories. They came rushing in:

I remembered the friend whose drink had been laced with rohypnol and who woke up abandoned, groggy and bleeding; the friend who had been gang raped and who took the main instigator to court, only to lose her case because of the way she looked (she was asking for it?); the loved one who was beat in front of her children, her hair dangerously close to lit burner coils; the woman whose baby’s papa sent her flowers and her favorite fruits after promising to take care of her and her soon coming little one, only to abandon them in an unpaid for hotel when he went back to an ex-girlfriend; the woman whose boyfriend became angry at her when she wouldn’t have sex with him because he had brought home crabs from sex with another woman; the woman who asked me to take her photo down off of a college club site because she was afraid a stalker would find her; the woman who confides in me that she’s going back to exotic dancing because she can’t make enough money otherwise, and this despite the sexual harassment that men deem warranted because of her occupation; the woman who owns three strip clubs and also founded an organization to help women who have experienced sexual violence; the woman reporter who constantly has to assert her significance and powerful voice in the realm of journalism; the woman who has laid aside her whole life to be a mother and caretaker; the woman who was told she could be a singer in a band if she became the band fluffer; the woman who kept it secret that her husband raped her first daughter, the same daughter that was a product of another rape; the trans woman who was told that she would never be a real woman. . . .

I could go on. And many listening right now can recount stories of their own, stories they’ve heard from friends, family members and loved ones, stories they have experienced themselves. Luckily, there has been no better time than now to speak up and to share these stories. Sharing them instigates courage. It creates community and solidarity. It creates change.

Personally, I have felt stunted in my expressions and have shirked telling stories of my own. I suppose that is why I did not start writing around this idea til now. I know conceptually the importance of telling stories and I know what feminist writers would say. Still, I’ve been afraid and silent.

So, this morning, I decided to reach out to my friends on Facebook as a way to reach out to people and to begin a process of rounding up community. “What do you think?” I asked. “Can you help me? Why is it important for us to tell our stories?” I had no idea so many people would answer. Here is what they said:

• This is where I always start about anyone telling their story: “If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” ~Zora Neal Hurston.
• It’s important for us to tell our stories so that we are not written into invisibility by men. . . again.
• Case in point: A man writes in this thread what he would do if he were writing my story. . . .I thank him for his input and let him know that no one will be writing my story but me.
• It is important to tell our stories because a lot of people don’t have to live it. They don’t live it, so they don’t see it, or if they see it, they pretend it’s not there. For a lot of folks, they don’t think it’s real if they don’t see it. Last night, I had to tell my own boyfriend personal stories about being a woman in the workplace and the story of my sexual assault. It’s not his fault that he didn’t know, he’d never witnessed this himself. But he didn’t believe that sexism is real. He didn’t know about misogyny. I had to explain to him what misogyny is. It’s our job to share our stories, to inform that yes, these things are happening all around us. It’s not his fault he didn’t know -- he never saw it, never partook in it, never had to deal with it. But for those of us who do have to deal with it, it’s our jobs to show those who love us. It’s our job to open their eyes to it.
• We all have a story. . . ‘when having done all to stand, stand therefore.’ When you think you can’t continue, can’t survive, or that you are not strong enough, think again. We are all capable of greatness, even in the smallest measure, shaken and stirred by conflict but still intact.
• I grew up in the time of bra burning and Gloria Steinem’s brand of Women’s Lib. When I was a child, I thought that maybe marriage would be out of date by the time I got to be my age. Yet, ironically, we still are talking about the same issues, decades later. I wonder just how have we evolved as a culture? Have we simply become more PC, and never truly addressed the core issues?
• Because the romance lie dominates book sales and keeps women hooked on finding the right man.
• Because our real experiences and thoughts and feelings are not told.
• It's important because without knowledge of the past, nothing will ever change. We need to know where we came from to appreciate where we are and to realize how important it is to keep going.
• Stories define us, our histories, our families, our hearts and souls. The telling of story is recognized universally as essential to humanity, from Doctor Who, to Native American, especially western Apache, traditions, all the way back into prehistory. I would love to see some women seize the narrative and run with it, telling their history in the epic tradition, making correlations between womanhood and heroism, like Joseph Campbell did for men with The Hero With a Thousand Faces. Or continuing where Clarissa Pinkola Estes started with Women Who Run With the Wolves. Keith Basso did some great interviews with Apache elders of both genders when he was writing Wisdom Sits in Places. Those three books are my favorite studies of human narratives.
• I feel it's necessary teaching for the daughters and granddaughters of this country. It's a health concern to me. Some women are taught not to speak up by their families and society at large needs to teach them how to do so and provide a safe container to hold them. So the scary stories and uncelebrated joys don't turn into ill health and disease.
• There's no freedom for anyone until we are all treated equally. Just because we can vote and have jobs doesn't mean we are equal. I want the same pay as the men in my industry doing the same job as me. I want to be taken seriously when doing business with men. I want to be able to make choices about my own body. We aren't all the way there yet.
• We want our stories heard so that our lives will have lasting meaning. Maybe our experiences can help others who come after us.
• If our stories are never told, it's like we never existed and once again our voices silenced. We live in a patriarchal world where this has been the norm for far too long.
• For one reason and one reason only: To remind yourself that you're real. ←(and I would add, to remind the world that you are real).
• I think it's important for everyone to tell their stories. These stories help people to heal and help to create our history. It also can so often help others by hearing these stories. It may trigger something for healing purposes or just allow a person to feel heard, which is important to our human existence.
• If we let others know how we have struggled, it somehow makes us seem weaker in others' eyes. The reality of it is this: We are stronger than we even know and the trials and tribulations we have gone through have made us who we are. We have learned and evolved from the young women we were to the women we are now.
• I went through a very turbulent first marriage and I have said from the beginning of my healing process with that, if I can help one person get through a similar situation or save someone from it, then all was not lost. I love the person I have become and I love my life. I have learned that I am enough just as I am. Wonderful place to be!!!
• For me, it's a very personal way to feel connected. To share/trade stories with other women gives me a feeling of safety, and validation that my own stories and experiences are ok, I'm ok. When I listen to other women confide in me, I feel useful in their experience.
• As women (and this can extend to anyone who has dealt with oppression), we have been indoctrinated by a wealthy/male dominated world that has practiced & preached that everything is on their terms. When our voices and stories become heard we have the opportunity to change other people's lives for the better.
• Because when men go through puberty their voices crack...girls turn to women so quickly, protruding. It's so important to support girls turning into women, so they can pass the baton, we can support one another. Physicality reveals the worlds inside.
• Because when we tell our stories, we learn what our story is....
• Because no one knows them better than we do. And because "Not telling it has been changing me, and not in a good way."

It is my hope that we can all become inspired and empowered by coming forth and naming those things that have been weighing heavily on our hearts and holding us back. I hope that we can listen to each other and begin a process of healing that can bring about the kind of transformation we yearn to see. I believe that it is imperative that we do.

I would like to close with one quote from Audre Lorde after all: “When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.” So here’s to that (!).

Thank you.

I'm adding almost 300 articles to this Blogger account (bye bye Examiner.com)

I just learned that Examiner.com is shutting down their website and that if I want to keep the articles, I will have to retrieve and archive them. I am posting them here on my blog for safe keeping. It's work I've done, afterall. So. . .in the next couple days or more, this blog will be updating with many old articles.

It's interesting that there is no news on the matter, and the letter they've sent out to writers says that no part of it can be outed. I did find a link to an article that was posted over at Inquisitr but when you click on it, there is nothing there. hmmm. . . . Maybe I should have stayed with the company longer so I could have seen what became of it (the parts of it they would have talked to us about, anyway).

Ah well. . . The only thing we can count on is change.

Hip-hop legend Phife Dawg dead at 45, life works left unfinished

There’s sad news today for the world of hip hop. Malik Isaac Taylor, otherwise known as Phife Dawg, one of the founding members of the legendary Hip-hop group A Tribe Called Quest, died on Tuesday, March 22 after struggling with his health. He was 45 years old.

Chris McKay/Getty Images

The hip-hop pioneer had been struggling for a long time with diabetes and had received a kidney transplant in 2008 from his wife, reports BBC March 23. Rolling Stone confirmed the late MC’s death, but an official statement has yet to be released, as well as an official cause of death.

A slew of Twitter messages from leaders in the hip-hop community began paying tribute to Phife, starting with a RIP message from producer and radio broadcaster DJ Chuck Chillout. Other hip-hop leaders paid tribute to the late MC on social media including DJ Gilles Peterson and politically and socially conscious rapper Chuck D.

Rolling Stone reports that Phife’s health problems were so severe, that they interfered with him having much of a solo career. Taylor appeared on each of Tribe’s five studio albums (including Low End Theory and Midnight Marauders). He released one solo album in 2000 entitled Ventilation: Da LP.

Taylor was working on new music and it is yet to be released. A teaser of the EP “Nutshell,” a track from a J Dilla collaboration entitled Give Thanks had been released, but a full version of the song is still under wraps. Taylor was also at work on an album called Muttymorphosis, an album that would have served as the late MC’s biography. He had hoped to release the album in 2016.

*originally published at the now defunct Examiner.com

It's not just a catchphrase, college students: Get involved

Starting a club on your college campus could be your best internship

Get involved! It's a catchphrase of college campuses. By getting involved in your college community, you can make important connections, and learn many skills that you will be able to apply to future jobs and experiences.

One of the many ways you can become involved on your campus is by becoming a member of one or more of the clubs offered. What are your interests? Take a look at the catalogue of clubs at your college and contact the club officers for more information.

If you are looking for career experience, you can become an officer of a club, yourself. Club officership will teach you many skills.

Another way of obtaining career oriented skills is by simply creating your own club. Doing this could very well be a sort of internship, and maybe even the best kind. Many interns find themselves performing menial tasks in their internships without really learning much about their field. You may not be able to get internship credit for creating a club, but the skills you glean there are priceless as are the connections you'll make.

Creating and managing your own club means you will gain many skills. Some of these skills include but are not limited to marketing, fundraising, networking, facilitating meetings, scheduling events, training future officers, and so on. These are all skills that you can add to your resume as valid work experience.

For more information about starting a club on your college campus, contact your student activities administrators and/or student government. There are also many articles online about how you can start a your own college organizations.

*originally published on the now defunct Examiner.com

U.S. Marines position tanks and military equipment in classified caves in Norway

The U.S. Marines are strategically placing tanks and military equipment inside classified Norwegian caves in efforts to support any possibility of crisis at the NATO-Russian border.

Photo by Dan Istitene/Getty Images

The preplacement of tanks, artillery and logistics equipment comes during renewed tensions between NATO and Russia. In a statement delivered on Friday, Col. William Bentley, operations officer for the 2nd Marine Expeditionary Brigade said: "Any gear that is forward-deployed both reduces cost and speeds up our ability to support operations in crisis, so we're able to fall in on gear that is ready-to-go and respond to whatever that crisis may be."

CNN reports Feb. 18 that the NATO-Russian border was heavily militarized during the Cold War. Continuing those efforts, Russian president Vladimir Putinis flexing his military muscle, creating three new divisions in the western border alone, and making five nuclear missile regimens ready for battle within the year.

The U.S. began stocking the climate controlled caves in 1981 during the Cold War. The stock was primarily meant to help NATO defend against the Soviet Union. When the Cold War ended, the U.S. reevaluated whether it was necessary to maintain those facilities, but the Norwegian government took on the costs of maintaining them in the 1990s.

There is enough equipment in these caves to support 15,000 Marines. And the equipment has not been sitting their latent. The equipment was reportedly used to aid in operations in Iraq.

Because of renewed tensions at the NATO-Russian border, the caves are again a strategic asset. "Now that we have a very new security context with Russia, it now makes sense to rethink what is needed," Heather Conley, director of the Center for Strategic and International Studies’ Europe Program told CNN.

More than 16,000 troops are training this month along with NATO allies and partners, using equipment from the classified caves. The development of military capabilities “in a challenging environment” is the goal. The exercise is called “Cold Response 16” and will ensure confidence that NATO and its participating allies will be able to defend the border.

More military equipment is on the way, with six F-15s due to arrive in Finland in time for the spring exercises. The exercises will occur about 100 miles away from the Russian border.

The Department of Defense is spending $3.4 billion in efforts to prevent Russia’s pending violence against NATO and its allies in the European Reassurance Initiative. In the initiative, military equipment will be stationed in the Baltic Seas, Poland and Central Europe. "We have to look at Northern Europe, the Northern Atlantic, the Baltics and Eastern Europe as one theater of operations," states Conley. She further states that military exercises are becoming critical.

Russia’s Northern Fleet recently conducted military drills involving 38,000 troops. Their drills were unannounced.

* originally published on the now defunct Examiner.com

Girls on Ice offers free Earth science glaciology program for teenage girls

Gulkana Glacier, Alaska

An exciting opportunity is available for teenage girls between the ages of 16-18 who are interested in taking a mountain adventure during their summer vacation. The program, which offers a wilderness education experience, free of charge, is taking applications through Jan. 29 for its two glaciology expeditions this year.

Girls on Ice, a non-profit wilderness science education program for young women, will take two teams of nine girls and three instructors on a 12-day trek into Alaska or Washington for field work in alpine landscapes, Lake County News reports Jan. 22. The teams will explore and study mountain glaciers and high mountain terrains alongsideprofessional glaciologists, ecologists, artists and mountaineers.

Applicants will be placed in two groups:

Girls on Ice North Cascades will bring participants to Mount Baker in Washington state. There, participants will explore a glacier, the mountain and the surrounding alpine meadows. The trip is open to applicants from all around the world. The expedition runs from July 10 to July 21.

The second team of young women will explore the Gulkana Glacier in the Alaska Range while hiking and camping in the Alaskan alpine landscape. This arm of the program is open to young women from Alaska, the Pacific Northwest, British Columbia, Yukon and California. This expedition runs from June 17 to June 28.

Participants will learn mountaineering and how to conduct their own science experiments. The program is also designed to challenge participants and help them gain self-confidence on many levels while also integrating lessons in Earth science.

For more information on how to apply, visit the Girls on Ice website.

*originally published on the now defunct Examiner.com

Animals have the ability to think and empathize with others

Recent studies and observations show that empathy, an ability that many think only humans capable, is a trait that other animals also exhibit.

Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images

While in the past, such observations have been deemed controversial, more studies have been coming to the fore rendering humans’ former beliefs that animals are nothing more than “mindless automata” questionable. Researchers have been pairing science alongside philosophical queries concerning animal subjectivity and they are finding that their observations are not solely the product of anthropomorphizing projections.

For example, Dr. Larry Young, a researcher at Emory University witnessed what looks like consoling behavior in prairie voles, reports The Atlantic, Jan. 21. In an experiment where two voles were placed in separate cages, one received a small electric shock and then, when it was reunited with its mate, received ten minutes worth of licking and grooming that seemed to calm it down.

Researchers found that voles witnessing the distress of their cohorts take on the behavior exhibited by their stressed companions. For example, a vole not receiving the shock would continuously groom itself and freeze whenever it heard a tone that heralded an impending shock. Those same voles exhibited higher stress hormone levels when tested even though they had not been shocked. Then, when reunited with their companions, they would groom distressed animals.

Voles are not alone in their show of concern and feeling for one another. Elephants conduct funerary rituals over their dead cohorts, burying deceased elephants with leaves and grass and then holding week long vigils. The recognition of their loss does not end there. Elephants visit the bones of those who passed for many years after burying them.

Rats have been shown to exhibit empathy for their cohorts, freeing trapped rats before pursuing any personal rewards. Dolphins have been shown to not only exhibit love and empathy for their own kind, but for other animals and humans, as well. Many animals have exhibited metacognition and still others such as chickens, and cows have been shown to have emotions.

According to an article published in July by National Geographic, animals think and feel. They have consciousness. Environmental writer Carl Safina recently wrote about animal consciousness in his book Beyond Words: How Animals Think and Feel and explains why it’s important to acknowledge animal consciousness. He also explains how neurological science will most likely make humans’ former belief that animals are incapable of such abilities as love and empathy obsolete.

*originally published on the now defunct Examiner.com

Five planets will align in rare celestial spectacle

Starting Jan. 20, five planets will line up single file in the predawn skies.

Five planets will align in a rare celestial show that hasn’t been seen in more than a decade. The planets Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn will line up single file in the predawn sky starting Jan. 20 and will be visible to the naked eye.

The line of planets can be seen around the world until Feb. 20. It is best viewed one to one-and-half-hours before sunrise, reports Accuweather Jan. 19.

If stargazers attempt to view the line of planets just before dawn, they may find that it has not completely risen. After dawn, the line of planets will begin to disappear as its visibility in Earth’s skies will be cancelled out by sunlight.

Venus will be the brightest planet in the sky and can assist viewers in finding the rest of the planets. Mercury, Venus and Saturn will be low over the southeastern horizon (in that order) while Mars and Jupiter will reach across the sky into the southwest. Jupiter, which ends the line, will be the second brightest visible planet. Mars may be hard to see low on the horizon, but its faint red color will differentiate it from surrounding stars.

Viewers will be able to differentiate the planets from stars because starlight twinkles and the light reflected from planets is more of a steady glow.

The last time five planets have glowed like this in a singular line was between Dec. 15, 2004 to Jan. 15, 2005.

Another celestial treat visible via telescope or binoculars in predawn skies is Comet Catalina. The two-tailed comet is passing by Venus. According to Space.com, the comet probably hails from the Oort cloud. The comet is on its way from circling the sun and will continue its journey into the outer Solar System. Comet Catalina was closest to the Earth on Jan. 17.

*originally published at the now defunct Examiner.com

Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Civil Rights activist and minister Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was integral to the Civil Rights Movement from the mid-1950s until his assassination in 1968. His work led to the creation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, a document that put an end to legalized segregation and banned workplace discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex or national origin.

Dr. King’s activism was led by the nonviolent philosophies of Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, the leading voice inIndia’s independence movement which began in 1857 and ended in 1947. Both leaders taught that a strong body of individuals brought together in solidarity can create long-lasting change for the betterment of everyone.

Gandhi led nonviolent protests which included week-long fasts and marches to protest everything from British occupation to caste separation. Similarly, Dr. King led boycotts, committees and campaigns to end social injustices, marches and other peaceful demonstrations and protests.

Though members of Congress proposed a legislated holiday for the fallen leader directly after Dr. King’s assassination, it wasn’t until 15 years after his death that the day became a national holiday. Many advocates were on board, including Stevie Wonder who wrote a song honoring Dr. King called “Happy Birthday.” According to Time Magazine, the song was meant to “make a case for the holiday,” and point out anyone who was opposed to the idea.

Finally, in 1983, despite then-president Ronald Reagan’s reluctance to pass the bill, he conceded. Dr. King’s birthday became a national holiday. This was an honor that up until that time had only been given to George Washington, the first president of the United States.

Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

To learn more about Dr. Martin Luther King’s legacy and words, check out Martin Luther King Jr. Online, The King Center, The King Institute, or any number of archival websites compiling Dr. King’s work.

*originally published at the now defunct Examiner.com

David Bowie never limited himself to any one art form

The world was rocked when news of David Bowie’s death hit Jan. 10. The British singer and multi-instrumentalist had a long career in music which ended with one last album, a carefully planned farewell to his fans called “Blackstar.”

Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

While most fans know Bowie because of his musical career which spanned more than fifty years, some may be surprised to learn that he wasn’t just a musical artist. He was also a big art collector, a voracious reader, a visual artist and writer. He was a creative who supported many other facets of the arts just as much as he was influenced by them.

“Bowie was curious about everything in the world, whether it had to do with gender issues, jazz, movement—he understood the symbolic significance of any gesture or thought form. He was able to use it as food for his own art,” wrote avant garde pianist Matthew Shipp in an exclusive email exchange with Examiner.com. “Bowie was a great model for all artistsof any genre because he utilized the symbolic nature of everything. He was also fearless in his ability to explore the many aspects of his many selves.”

One of Bowie’s many talents included painting. He had started painting as a practice in 1976 to help distract him from depression and the stressors of the the music business. He returned full-fledged to music and picked up visual art again in the 1990s, reports the New York Times Jan. 14

During that time, Bowie joined the board of the British magazine Modern Painters and personally interviewed many contemporary artists of note including: Balthus, Damien Hirst, Tracey Emin, Jeff Koons and Julian Schnabel. During his stint with the magazine, he also created a lot of work of his own. He was prolific, creating hundreds of pieces of art using paint, chalk, charcoal and other mediums.

According to the Independent, Bowie even helped create a fictitious artist named Nat Tate, a man who was a supposed Abstract Expressionist who destroyed 99 percent of his work and killed himself by jumping off the Staten Island ferry. Tate’s story was told in a book written by William Boyd, a best-selling UK writer who was integral in the creation of the hoax. The book was published with a publishing venture that Bowie created called “21.”

David Bowie never stopped creating, not even during his seeming retirement from celebrity in 2004. He continued painting, designing, and exploring new expressions of art while intermittently contributing more music to his canon.

*originally published at the now defunct Examiner.com