--old journal doodleby Tameca L Coleman
I have a confession to make: I'm scared. I'm so scared that I have taken plenty of time to hide. I have bottled up my words, and music, waiting for a time when I am no longer afraid.
I'm supposedly a writer, amongst other things. Frankly, I haven't been writing a lot since I graduated from my undergrad. I journal some but even that has been on the wane. Most of my published works have appeared in small or defunct journals and it's hard to see peoples' eyes glaze sometimes because they want to know someone who has actually done something, is doing something, or at least looks like they are doing something. Small and defunct journals are often only important to the people that are published in them. Further, my lack of consistency and fear has turned into boxes upon boxes of things to sift through in the closet and latency.
Just a bit ago, some friends on different occasions asked me whether I blog. I directed them here, kind of shyly, with a bunch of referring to the word "latent." I didn't realize it then but it turns out that the word suggests pure potentiality, something lying in wait, dormant, with potential for expression. I'm glad that I somehow knew to use that word. When I told my friends about my creative latency I was initially beating myself up about the whole thing, feeling that perhaps I was lying when I still considered myself a writer. Maybe I was hobbyist who spent loads of time and money on the fun! I am known by many to be a meanderer with a penchant for fantasy. However, as I write this, I can't get the image of a seed just sprouting and greening, pushing its little head above the earth to meet the sun.
|"Slumbering Sun" -- old journal doodle by Tameca L Coleman|
Well, there are the friends who ask me if I do this, and say that they will link what I do here to what they do. That's inspiring. Further, what I have been feeling has been reflected back to me in myriad emails and conversations from friends, teachers, and others in my community who have something to say and are timid about saying it. But here we are. We have to start somewhere, and who knows what can happen with consistent and small actions, showing up, putting a little something towards those things we say we do and those things we want and need to say.
Here's to that, and waking up, pushing our heads at last above the earth to reach the sun!